Why aren't I breathing properly?
Earlier this week, I had a particularly stressful day at work. It wasn't one specific thing—just lots of little things compounding over the course of the day.
I recognised it building but didn't stop to do anything about it or interrupt the pattern.
Ultimately, by the end of the day, I felt like a nervous wreck—shallow breathing and that highly strung feeling, like one small thing is going to push you over the edge.
On the way home, I started noting down how I was feeling at the time—sometimes, after an anxiety or stress episode, it's hard to recall exactly how you felt in the moment.
The most notable thing I wrote down was how I felt like I wasn't breathing properly. I was breathing from my chest—with short, shallow breaths—not proper breathing from your diaphragm (you know, when you feel your belly move in and out, not your chest). I felt like I just wasn't getting enough air.
The irony is that, when we're stressed or anxious, we hate being told to "just breathe". But the problem with anxiety and stress is that it genuinely does affect your breathing—and regulating or consciously returning your breath to a natural pattern can really help reduce both the emotional and physical symptoms of anxiety and stress.
Coupled with the feeling of not being able to breathe properly, I also noticed my whole upper body felt very tense—I was clenching my jaw hard, and my shoulders were stiff.
I needed a complete reset, and I know I could have dealt with this sooner. But sometimes, in the moment, when everything else feels urgent, you don't take that 5–10 minutes to step away and deal with it.
Here's what I should have done:
The Physiological Sigh is useful when you want a quick breathing reset without settling into a long exercise. The double inhale followed by a longer exhale changes the rhythm of the breath and can help take some edge out of a stressed moment. A few repetitions are enough; this is not something you need to keep doing endlessly.
The long exhale and steady counting make 4-7-8 Breathing a useful way to slow a rushed moment down. The numbers also give your mind something clear to follow instead of wandering straight back into worry. The traditional count can feel demanding, especially when you are already anxious, so treat it as a pattern rather than a test. Shorten the counts if needed and keep every breath comfortable.
Jaw and tongue tension can quietly build while the rest of you gets on with the day. Softening the mouth gives those muscles permission to stop working so hard. The tongue matters more than people realise: if it is tense or pressed up, the jaw often stays involved too. This is a tiny reset you can do almost anywhere.
Shoulders are very good at creeping upwards when you are stressed. Deliberately lifting them makes the tension obvious, and the drop gives those muscles a clear release. Repeating it a few times can loosen the neck and upper back while giving your mind something physical and uncomplicated to do.
This quick routine would have only taken 5–10 minutes, and it would have stopped me getting overwhelmed. I know I felt it, and I'm pretty sure everyone I interacted with that day felt it too!
Hopefully, next time, I'll have the presence of mind to step away and reset before things get worse.
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